I distinctly remember one of my good friends warning me that things would get harder in the relationship with my husband after having the baby. I listened to her, but remember rejecting this idea in my own mind.
“No way,” I thought, “we are strong and this is going to make us stronger.”
In the end, having children has made our relationship stronger, but right after baby it definitely was a struggle as we adjusted.
Things like not sleeping well and figuring out how to co-parent and feeling resentment when your spouse does something for themselves can take some time to figure out for new parents.
When I began to struggle as a new parent, I remember being SO grateful to my friend for actually being open with me about her struggle so I didn’t feel as though I was the only one.
Now I see my friends going through similar things and my hope is to validate and normalize it just as much as my friend did for me.
It can be hard, though, as many moms-to-be likely don’t want to hear the negative as they enter in the new world of parenthood.
One friend I tried to gently warn about some of the negative aspects of motherhood and she stopped me. Months later, with baby in tow she acknowledged it was harder than she had thought it would be and felt appreciative for the advice.
Now I say to my pregnant friends, “If you ever want to talk, I am always here.”
It’s definitely more fun to focus on the positive when our friends are pregnant, but starting the conversation can be a seed worth planting to help other parents in the long run.
